Monday, March 14, 2011

Day 73: My Last Hurrah as a Thirtysomething

Just looking at the pictures highlighting the past year of my life made me realize how time truly flies so fast. It seemed only yesterday when I celebrated my 38th birthday and now here comes another natal day, making me one year older. This is going to be my last year in the thirties and it seems that everything else in my life seem to be at the end of a chapter or ending (more on that in later posts, don't worry).

I've had a tremendous outpouring of blessings all throughout this year and the biggest one of them all was finally realizing what being a Christian truly means and having a personal relationship with the Lord God. He has opened the floodgates of my mind and heart to His word and promise of eternal life. And it is now that I realize how difficult it is to live life once you get closer to Him. He will test and challenge you all the time to know whether you're His true disciple or not. It might be weird to understand how this can be considered as my greatest blessing this year but it truly is...As I continue to be tested, rocked and shaken, I get molded and reshaped in the process.  I am now a work in progress...having a lot of downs than ups but still trying to get up each time I fall.

Lately, I've allowed myself to be troubled and afraid of these things that signal the end of certain parts of my life. God knows I've wallowed in so much fear, anxiety, grief and self-pity already. Known to be a natural pessimist, I can't seem to get my thoughts to be positive about what's in store in the future. While things seem to be going on south, I have the tendency to think that it's all downhill from here...

Now that I'm facing the big 40 just around the corner there, my biggest wish and fervent prayer is that God helps create in me a more positive outlook, one that is bold enough to look at the future and say "I'm ready, bring it on!!!".  I hope that He continues to allay all my fears and allows me to believe that indeed when He closes a door, He opens a window.

The greatest sign that He is just around, ready to take me under His care was already manifested early today, when my Facebook wall and mobile phone filled up with a barrage of greetings and well wishes. Knowing that I am loved by family, relatives, friends and loved ones boosts my confidence to face another year of my life. Your overwhelming show of love, support and care will keep me going. My heartfelt gratitude to all of you for remembering and keeping me in your hearts and minds.

Finally, to know how deeply I am loved by those closest to my heart makes everything worthwhile and meaningful. With them by my side, I know I can overcome anything...

This is hubby's birthday gift to me...I was in tears from start to finish...such a precious gift of love...

This time from my two girls...what a great birthday gift!

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