Monday, June 28, 2010

Day 179: Dear Mom

I was up early, raring to start the day by preparing the family's breakfast and my son's lunch pack for school. Being used to multitasking, it wasn't unusual that I had a lot going on in front of me: fried rice being sauteed on the pan, toast for sandwiches heating in the toaster oven, water for coffee boiling in the heater and juice to be made. I was happily juggling all of these tasks when the image of Mom suddenly crossed my mind...and I remembered with poignancy how Mom used to do the same for us when we were younger. Well, maybe not on a day-to-day basis since she was working full time as a pediatrician then but I can distinctly remember that she made the effort to do things for us when she had the time. 

I've been a hands-on Mom for the past 7 years and I realized that many of the tasks I do were the stuff I saw Mommy did for us then. In fact, it was even more difficult for her because she had to juggle a very demanding career of taking care of young children's lives and health while overseeing the welfare of her family. As a pedia, Mom was the best! Many of her patients (most of whom are all grown up now) and parents can attest to the loving care that she gave as a doctor.

Looking back, my siblings and I always had that resentment about Mom's job mainly because it ate most of her time and there were several instances in the past when outings and family activities had to be postponed or canceled due to some medical emergency at the hospital. It is only now that I realize how important Mom's job was...to most of her patients it meant the matter of life and death.

When Mom finally had more time to spend with us, we were older and had developed our own personalities and quirks already. Unconsciously, we turned her away and didn't give her a chance to get to know us. We failed to acknowledge all her sacrifices and difficulties in balancing family life...that was all she wanted. Rejected by her family, Mom tried to seek acceptance elsewhere which led to the bad habits she has now formed. Somehow, we had a hand in that.

I hope it's not too late to let her know how important she is in my life and how grateful I am that she is my mother. I love you Mom...everything about you...the good and the bad, the sacrifices and the headaches...the understanding and misunderstanding. I thank God that He made me resemble you in many different ways...I love that I have your face, hands, fingers and even nails. I share your taste buds, mannerisms and stubborn streak. I will keep in my heart all of the memories I shared with you especially those times when you were here to assist me in childbirth. I pray to God that He will give us the opportunity to spend more time together so that the rest of my family can experience the purity of your heart. I love you, Mom and I miss you so much!


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